On the Fifth of November

On the Fifth of November

When Rome approved the horrid plan
++Which Superstition laid;
On Earth was found no daring Man,
++To give it Birth or Aid.

Strait down to hell a Jesuit hies,
++With rapid eager hast;
To Lucifer his friend applies,
++Impatience in his Face.

I come dread Sir to shew a Scheme,
++From you we hope assistance,
These English Blades dislike the Theme,
++Of passive Non-resistance.

A Plan to blow them up in Air,
++Both Parliament and King,
With Gunpowder, a scheme so rare,
++Will make Hell’s confines Ring.

But how to bring it all around,
++We’ve made our Noddles ake,
With us no Mortal can be found,
++This Deed to undertake.

Quoth Lucifer we’ll straitway hold
++A Council on the Banks of Styx,
Some Devil perhaps may be so bold,
++On whom this business we may fix.

The Divan met: their Chief declared,
++The Business of this Popish Mission,
Each Devil thought the task was hard,
++At length Stept forth a ghastly Vision.

Of GUIDO FAUX, quoth he I’ll take,
++The very Shape and Air,
And to the House where lies the Train,
++I’ll instantly repair.

And you my Peers shall hear the noise,
++Before to-morrow Dinner:
I’ll soon blow up these roaring boys,
++Or else I am a Sinner.

The thought approved, all Hell was pleased,
++Each Devil grinned with Horror;
The Jesuit’s conscience too was eased,
++In prospect of to-morrow.

To-morrow came, with greedy Ears,
++Each stood to learn their lot:
When lo! to ease them of their fears,
++Old James smelt out the Plot.

The Fiend abashed, without success,
++Sneaked back to hell’s Domains;
Where all the Peers their Rage express,
++And kicked him for his pains.